Game Thirteen: World, Meet Joe Zag Fan

Editor’s Note: A prominent and awesome feature on the old blog was something I called Celebrity Correspondents.  Whenever someone was going to some game or another, I’d ask them to write about it so I could post it on the blog.  It was a hit but I had no real intention of bringing it back this time around…at least I didn’t until I opened my email the other day.  In it I found an email from the famed Joe Zag Fan.  For some of you, Joe needs no introduction.  His Twitter page (@JoeZagFan) is a mess of nonsense, misspellings, and hardcore Zag love, and if you haven’t checked it out already, you should.  You’ll quickly see that he is both no Zag fan and he is every Zag fan all at the same time.  He’s a mix of every crazy Zag fan who’s ever posted on either GUBoards or The Slipper Still Fits, including misplaced apostrophes.  So, when Joe told me he was going to the Xavier game and asked if he could write a guest post, I immediately agreed.  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Joe Zag Fan. (Please consider the entire guest post [sic].)

Hi!!!!! I kinda cant believe I’m here becsuse this blog is just so opposite of the places I normally hang out like GU Boards or the Slipper LOL I had the idea to send La Rev a guest post because I wanted him to see that there’s more to bein’ a fan then bein’ negative towards the Zag’s all the time.  Acutally, it was my wife who had the idea (I wont tell her name–trying to protect the innocent!!!–so you’ll just have to call her The Gump LOL!!1!!!) but still, I asked La Rev if I could write something here to lay my case why the Zag’s (and the game I saw last night) make me so happy.  He told me “sure” but that he wouldn’t edit anything I wrote.  Said something about “wanting to make sure the world gets a true sense of what it’s dealing with” whatever that means. Anyway’s, I want to start by telling you my favorite player’s in reverse order:

4) David Stockton: Gosh, how can you not just love this kid. He runs the offense with procision IMO and their hasn’t been a Zag point guard look as polished and mature as him since his daddy IMO!!!!!

3) Pendo! Sure he’s not playin’ anymore, but I can’t make a list without him!!!! True Zag all the way!  Love ya Pendo!

2) Mike Heart: His name is really true LOL All heart! A typical glue guy. Put him on the other team’s best defender and that guy aint gettin’ nothin’ LOL Maybe we should change his name to Mike Glue LOL!!!!!

1) Robert Sacre: Such a great ambassador! A true Zag! The Gump and I met him at last year’s basketball banquet and he was just such a clean cut, well-spoken guy! Never have to worry about him sayin’ he’ll zip anyone up like those Xavier gangsta’s LOL! We’re so lucky to have him IMO and were gonna be sorry when hes gone!!!!!!

So now that you know a little bit about who I am, let me tell you why I’m writing.  The other day, The Gump and I were watching The Mark Few Show (our favorite show of course LOL!!) when we both had a idea at the same time (wait till you wippersnappers have been married as long as us!!! You will start having the same thoughts to!): “LEt’s pack up the camper and drive to Ohio for the Xavier game!”  Crazy idea, but when you love the Zag’s as much as we do, you make sacrifices LOL!  So that’s just what we did!  So we’re driving and after we stopped at the Corn Palace and Wall Drug and ate at TGI Fridays (god i love America!  Where else can you have such fun!), the Gump says, “Honey, I’ve got a great idea, why don’t you write that Negative Nelly Larvabug and ask him why hes such a Negative Nelly!”  “Gump,” says I.  “Your a genius!”  So I write Larvabug (ha! The Gump is so hilarious! See why I locked her up when I did?) and asks him if I could write about the Xavier game.  After all, The Gump and I were gonna be there.  I mean, we aren’t “deep thinkers” like Larvabug and his friends (I follow you guy’s on Twitter…I know what your all about LOL You all think your so smart but really your not), but we love the Zag’s.  The world deserves to hear our story.  With out further adeui, here’s how our day went down:

7:00 am- Our camper rolls into Cincy.  The Gump picks this time to tell me she used to have a huge crush on Pete Rose.  Aw, Gump!

7:01 am- We park the camper and quickly look for other Zag fans.  There’s nobody around!  Come on, Zag’s! You guy’s gotta support the team!  How else will they know how much we love them!

7:02 am- Since there aren’t any other fan’s around, we decide to look around for the team.  I know Robert remembers me from the banquet last year and this time I’m gonna have him sign my jersey!!!!!

8:00 am- No sign of the team, but we’re starving!!!!! The Gump wants Chili’s, I want Applebee”s.  None of them are open so we settle for Denny’s.

9:00 am- This is when are story get’s great!!! We walk out of Denny’s and who do we see walking on the other side of the street by Robert Sacre!!!!! “Robert!!!!!” I yell. “Robert!!!!  Hey, Robert!!!!” I don’t think he heard me because he was just walking with his head down.  Then he started talking on his phone.  Then he walked into some store.  He totally didn’t here me!  “Come on, Gump!  We gotta go talk to him!!!!” So we ran across the street (sorry to that car who almost hit me LOL! I needed to go talk to Robert!) and into the store!!!

9:01 am- I can’t find Robert anywhere.  I’m looking all over the place.  I ask one of the clerk’s if they had seen Robert but they looked at me all confused.  How can you guy’s not know Robert Sacre?  No fear…….I finally found him in the corner.  He must have been shopping for Halloween masks (he’s so fun!) because he had a mask on.  I almost walked right past him! I caught up with him and we had the best chat.  I told him how fun it was to see him again after the banquet.  “Oh…yeah…that was cool,” he said! Robert Sacre remembered me!!! I’m never washing these eyes again!!!!  Then I wished him good luck and told him to get some rest and eat a good meal!!!! “We need you healthy tonight, big fella!!! Gotta zip up those Gangstateers!!”  “Sure, dude,” He said (Robert Sacre called me dude!!!!) and then he walked out.

9:02-6:00- After that talk with Robert, those next few hours were a total blur.  I think we walked around Cincy. I think we may have run into Pete Rose and I may have lost track of the Gump for a few hours.  But who care’s!!!  I only came out of my stuper when I realized how hungry I was.  Applebee”s beckoned.  The Gump and I split the Tennessee burbun (sp?) chicken quesadilla, jalapeno poppers, and a salad with extra ranch (our usual!!!! Love Applebee’s!)

6:30- Off to the game!!!

6:45- Arrive at the arena.  The Gump and I take our seats and she’s nervous as usual and I’m yelling at the Xavier students telling them that there team is gangsters and that we wouldn’t take tough guy thugs like them at Gonzaga!!!!! Don’t think they liked me to much LOL!!!!!

8:00- Finally the game.  I just got one word for you Gangstateers….ZIP EM UP!!!!1!!! LOL

11:00- After the game, The Gump and I tried to wait around for the team to come out of the locker room but the security guy’s kicked us out.  I guess they don’t know that this is America and that we have free speech and a right to free assembly!!!! Just another result of Obamacare! (Lookin’ forward to taking our country back in 2012!!!!!)

11:15- We arrive back at the camper and make our way home.

So that’s where I am now, guy’s (the Gump’s behind the wheel…don’t worry LOL!!!)!!!!  Such a great way to spend my New Year’s IMO.  I’m so happy and blessed to have a chance to see such a great team and a hard working bunch of Zag’s in person and with my best girl by my side (luv ya, Gump!).

Go Team Zag’s!!!!

Editor: Yikes.  May God have mercy on our souls.

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